Back at work after having a child - tips for first time moms

This week marks the two-year anniversary of me getting back to work full-time after having my firstborn. My daughter is now 2 years and three months old. The past two years have been a long and fulfilling journey and it is only the start!

I thought I’d write this post to provide some tips to first-time moms based on my experience. There is nothing new or novel about these tips, in fact, mom or not, it is beneficial to follow these practices where applicable. They just help have a more structured life. :)

Without further ado, here are eight tips (plus a fun bonus one) that I hope will be helpful.

1. Find a good day care (or nanny) and a pediatrician well in advance: This one may seem obvious, but it is surprising to note the number of people who don’t think about it until it is time to put their child in a daycare. My husband and I found the daycare we wanted for our daughter when I was six months pregnant. We got ourselves on the waitlist and when the time came, our daughter had a place in the infant room. About a month before our daughter was born, we found ourselves a pediatrician who we could trust and who agreed with our parenting views. This helped a lot when our daughter fell sick on occasion and gave us peace of mind.

2. Maintain a clean and organized household: Yet another obvious one… but you’d be surprised at the number of messy households I’ve been in. Maintaining a clean household is a matter of hygiene. It can have devastating effects on your child’s health if you don’t maintain a clean home (more on this topic at another time). An organized household follows the rule of “a place for everything and everything in its place”. Having an organized household makes things more efficient. You spend less time searching for stuff and more time doing other important things (like playing peekaboo with your newborn).
   
   I typically spend 5–20 minutes on a week day and a couple hours on the weekend getting things in order. Of course, this assumes maintenance of an already-organized household and that took several weeks a few years ago when we moved into our home. In general, my rule is to organize my home in such a way that I can find anything in less than two minutes. Optimizing supply chain also ensures that you never run out of essentials, thereby keeping your life organized.

3. Use online services: Living in the United States and the Pacific Northwest gives me access to services like Amazon Fresh, Amazon Prime Now, Instacart, Eat24, Peach, etc. I wholeheartedly recommend using these services on a regular basis for shopping for groceries and other essentials. I use them regularly and haven’t had to set foot in a grocery store for over 3 years now. I buy almost everything online and have things delivered to my home; I have to say I am a happier person for it and get more time to do fun things. I would recommend this even if you enjoy going to the store (I don’t) simply because of how much time it saves. You can always go to the store when you have time to spare and enjoy the experience, instead of making it a rushed visit.

4. Use gadgets when available: I love gadgets of every kind and recommend using those that increase efficiency. Food processors, choppers, automatic can openers, dishwashers, washing machines, etc. are the more obvious ones. Gadgets like Mint, Roomba, Nest Cam, Echo, Harmony Hub, Formula Dispenser, One Step Baby Food maker, and so many others, are time saving and make things efficient. I use Amazon Echo to maintain shopping lists and it is inarguably the most used and loved gadget in our household. It helps optimize our supply chain for household essentials. Other gadgets keep things in order and increase efficiency in the house.

5. Learn to use power tools and be a DIY person: This one may seem surprising, but being able to use power tools is a very useful skill. Hanging that pretty valence in your baby’s room, changing the crib setting as the baby grows, replacing a light bulb in the ceiling, fixing a car seat, assembling a stroller or a toy, or changing the position of the ground anchor on the play set in the yard will all become interesting and easy if you learn how to use a few different types of power tools. It isn’t hard and there are plenty of tutorials online where you can learn some fundamentals. I strongly advocate spending time learning this skill. It pays off in the long run.

6. Cut off those toxic people: We all have some toxic people in our lives who bring us down. After having a child, every minute in a day matters (much more than it did before). I’ve found that is it very important to surround yourself with positive people you trust. Whether it is a family member who disagrees with your parenting style, a former colleague who hates your success, an in-law who won’t stop talking about how women shouldn’t work, or a close friend who isn’t able to handle the change in your life after your child was born, it is important to cut off or at the very least minimize contact with anyone who brings you down. Setting clear boundaries and expectation with people, in general, is very beneficial as well.

7. Focus on work while at work: Perhaps this one is obvious too, but it is worth a mention. Being a mom, you always have plenty to do. Once you get a job, the number of daily to-dos tend to multiply, if not grow exponentially. It is very easy to be distracted at work and think about all that you have to get done and in some cases, even get them done. However, it is counter-productive. If you do household stuff when you are at work, then you end up doing work stuff when you are home. Everyday while at work, I try my best to completely focus on my job, finish up my daily planned activities, and head home. I have working lunch meetings with my colleagues or head out to grab coffee with my team members for a 1:1. This ensures that the work day is productive and I have focused time with my family when I am back at home. After practicing for several months, I have now made it a habit to not check email when I am with my daughter in the evenings. It is possible to do, it requires a lot of determination — especially if you love your job like I do!

8. Plan the week ahead:
   While most people start the work week on Monday morning, I start mine on Sunday afternoon when my daughter is down for a nap. I look at my work calendar, anticipate issues that might arise at work, and get a head start on emails. If possible, I even get a few work related tasks out of the way. In addition, I figure out with my husband as to who picks up and drops off our daughter each day of the week, plan week night activities, plan meals, and ensure that I have placed online orders for any household essentials for the week. If needed, I get some additional work done at night after everyone is asleep to get a head start to my week.
   
   In addition, I ensure every evening before I leave work that I know what’s in store for the next day and prepare accordingly. This helps in dealing with any unexpected events… like a toddler meltdown in the morning for no apparent reason, or a shampoo spill at 8:30 PM that happened during the one minute you weren’t watching!

Bonus Tip: Have a supportive spouse!
Having a supportive spouse goes a long way to making life fun. Of course, in many cases, it is a little too late to search for a supportive spouse when you are pregnant with a child. Setting clear expectations, talking about roles and responsibilities, sharing parenting duties, and spending time with each other sans the child are all important to ensure a happy household. When we spoke about me getting back to work, my husband told me that we’d work out any problems together and what mattered to him was that I had an equally fulfilling career as he did and that he’d do what he could to support me. True to his word, he has indeed done that and I’d like to end this post by thanking him for all the support he has given me these last two years.